The key I found is finding good teachers. Here are the courses I have found utterly invaluable.
Andrew Kramer and his crew at video copilot really define teaching on the internet for me. So I went around trying to find a "VideoCopilot of before I invested 6 grand in 3d software. I am a bit of a noob and not overly good at just working things out, so for me I need good training that doesn't make me bored out of my brain.
For After Effects:
VideoCopilot.net - it almost goes without saying, if it wasn't for Andrew Kramers tuts, I would still have absolutely no clue about 3d or after effects. He tackles real world problems and does it in a way that is entertaining. Even my wife watches along when he puts up a new tut and she has no idea what he is on about, but she finds it entertaining. For anyone wanting to get into any aspect of 3d or motion graphics, I recommend this as a starting point.
Also
http://www.sternfx.com/ has some good stuff too.

For
Eon Vue (http://www.e-onsoftware.com/):
quadspinner.com - Dax is one of the few guys doing Vue tuts out there that can actually produce scenes that you would want to copy... or that could be considered realistic. If you are new to vue, you can't go past his stuff. Unfortunately not much is free, but it is worth the money. I particularly liked his tuts on lighting, which is so vital to get a scene to work.
This guy charges, but man, it was worth every cent.
For Maya:
Yet to find.
For 3d Studio Max:
Other than Andrew Kramer who has done a bunch of video copilot, I haven't found any good ones.
For Protools
Duncan Wood from touchwoodproductions.com taught me pretty much everything I know in protools, but sadly he hasn't made any tuts yet. If I ever convince him to, I will link it, as he is a good teacher.
There are obviously probably way more that others have used and found success with, but these were the ones I found incredibly useful. google/bing is also very helpful for finding random tuts for specific problems.
that is all.